went town with wendy, sher and matthew. first they pei-ed me go cut hair at pivot point. dad says its nice but everyone else said its screwed.

then went town.. far east first, den walked ard.. we walked till my feet were sore. went to eat long john's. we talked abt anything and everything. i loved every minute of today.

went home at, like, 8 .. den my parents dropped the bomb on me.

maybe dad cant make it for meet the parents. he has work at eight.

i really REALLY wish he would be able to come. i really wish. this is the first time i did well. as in, not as jialat as the last few years.. i got top 10 and i didnt fail anything ... hais.. when we found a timeslot that he could make it, i was damn happy .. i went to school and "booked" that timeslot asap .. then this evening my mom told me he couldnt make it then .. and only if mrs peng came early and had time, then my dad could sit in .. if nt he's gonna leave ...

i hate this...i've waited damn long for this day to come..i was so excited whenever i think about the looks on my parents' face when they see my report card. esp my dad's. last year all he did was discriminate my results because i'd dropped to normal. i wanted so much to prove him wrong. i hated my dad then for saying i couldnt do it.

just because of my bad results he got into a bad mood, and took it out on my mom. i nvr forgot that time. i was freakin pissed with him. it wasnt my mom's fault, it was mine, so why take it out on her. i vowed to prove him wrong, that his daughter isnt a good-for-nothing.

my mom was always telling me at night to get good results as to not tarnish the reputation of my dad the general. it was as if all he wanted was his face, and he'd get none if his daughter fared badly. and now i've got results to be proud of. and perhaps he cant make it.

he told me that its not that he doesnt want to go, but he cant go. i know its probably childish of my feeling that way, but i cant help it. all my life i've been bringing home bad results. with one or two passes. this is the one time in my life i get to be proud of what im bringing home, and not being afraid of getting reprimanded for failing.

now im afraid of being reprimanded for not getting high enough, like the top 3 positions. look at the vast difference. i wish my dad is going tmr. i really really wish. i'll pray that mrs peng comes earlier tmr. so that i can see his face when we get back our report card. i want him to finally be proud of me.

ITS FREAKING UNFAIR. JUST WHEN I START TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER HEAVEN MAKES A FOOL OUT OF ME.